Marriage Counseling for Married Couples
Sometimes it is the number of years that couples have been together that they become too familiar with each other and somehow leads to disrespect. Married couples have to be careful that this familiarity will not become a fuel for the breakdown of their marriage. If you judge the actions of your spouse without communicating to him/her, then you will tend to react to the inferred cues. If you want your marriage to work, do not be so quick to judge your spouse’s mere actions, but cultivate a certain level of receptiveness before you react or respond to what you perceive. Cues are simply perceived innuendos that you yourself have made or have established because of a seemingly concurrent pattern that you have assembled yourself. Though this however shouldn’t be taken for granted as there is such a thing as a non-verbal expression that represents certain cues, but somehow, it must be bore in mind that real communication is also highly dynamic, and therefore it can constantly change and it adjusts to the other person’s changing needs. It is not therefore enough just to rely merely on non-verbal cues but it is good to cultivate good communication between the two of you.
We fight like cats and dogs when we rely on perceived cues instead of cultivating patience, kindness, gentleness, and using our intuitive intelligence.
We need to learn how to let go of our reactive self and re-connect ourselves to our cognitive capabilities so that with mindfulness on our side, we can gradually resist that powerful emotion that tends to shut our rational consciousness.
Many spouses have this entitlement mindset that is very detrimental to a marriage. The attitude that says, “I deserve it” is the one that is responsible to almost all types of a relational conflict because this mental outlook characterizes the person to have a legal right over something. Yes, you may want something from your spouse which is to be desire, but to demand to have a right over it is another thing. The best way to deal with this is to lessen your expectation of the other person, and learn to appreciate the good things that you find in the other person. If both are willing to do this, then each day you can find something good that can help cover up for the things that you want to change in your spouse.
Although willing to give their marriages another chance, some couples are just unable to do it themselves and would need help from a third party. If partners seek the help of a marriage counselor and therapist, they might still give their marriage another chance of improving their relationship.